nail polish, sweet potatoes, gladys knight and Lohan.

Happy birthday to me. I am glad to see 35 when I was so close to never even seeing 33.

I want to do some predictions about the next year.

1. I will star on the Real Housewives of Comanche County. I will be the one that carries my little dog everywhere and smells of tanning lotion

2. I will direct a film about the importance of nail polish. It will bring peace to Israel and Palestine.

3. I will bring back use of the word "Sike"

4. I will name my successor as The Most Powerful Gay in The World but I will live forever like
Queen Elizabeth II

5.I will have my own talk show. My first guest will be Lindsey Lohan. I will talk to her the way I talk to everyone (crazy) and she will admit that the reason she is a crack head is because she is truly a lesbian. I will send her to lesbian boot camp. She will then star in the Melissa Etheridge biopic.

6. I will finally potty train my dog

7. I will discover that Gladys Knight is my real mom

8. My dog will become an internet sensation a la Antoine Dotson

9. I will go on a sweet potato diet

10. I will win a lifetime supply of Diet Dr Pepper!