Having been involved in this community for years, I have been so fortunate not to have suffered the same losses as other communities. So I want to honor the ones that are still in my life and how they have impacted me. Adrian seemed like an obvious choice for the first post but that relationship requires a tremendous about of care and tenderness when I write about it, that I will wait.
I would like to talk about the first transman that set me on this course.
Ryan is a beautiful, intense, empath that would cringe for me to talk about how important he is and how this is all his doing. I was drawn to him because he was androngynous, attractive, smart and would answer questions honestly. I was quite smitten with him.
Like I do with everyone, I wanted to provide a safe place for him to be on this journey. I cannot even express how actually complicated my relationship with Ryan is and how he not only set me on this course of advocacy but on the course to my Adrian. He is my family and a part of soul.
Terry is a former partner of mine who started to medically transition and has subsequently stopped. When we were partners, I used exclusively male pronouns. While we are no longer in contact, the last time we spoke, I was encouraged to continue using male pronouns where he was concerned because that was the context of our relationship.
Terry was a difficult and complex relationship. There was a lot of love for each other but a fundamental misunderstanding how to make our identities coexist. While I was with Terry, I learned a lot about myself and how to better articulate and advocate for the trans community. Explaining that not everyone identified the same way became part of my rhetoric and I learned to appreciate that from Terry.
Aiden should hate me but he doesn't. Aiden was pretty content in his life until Hurricane Amy came into the picture. I adore him and he is one of my best friends. He always thanks me for being so supportive of him but I think he forgets that he was fine until I opened my big mouth. He is smart and dedicated to helping others and I admire that in him. He is the glue that holds so many people together. I try to do the same for him.
Tony. My darling, sweet Mister T! Some people have a way of making you feel like you have known them forever. That is Tony. His emails are sometimes my saving grace. He is quiet and caring and the most wonderful friend. We spend most of our time communicating through BuzzFeed articles and emails. I often call him my fake Oklahoma boyfriend because he is so much like Adrian that I am often terrified. But when I we exchange emails, I feel like we provide a judgment free zone for each other. No one makes me laugh harder than he does.
Now, my love, Adrian. I simply would not be who I am without him. He handed me a piece of paper covered in highlighted passages and a shorthand that I instinctively understood, that gave me the words of my own identity. He is the only person who can articulate things for me before I can. Our souls have known each other for countless lifetimes. He is my North Pole and my biggest cheerleader. He is the most brilliant person I know. His wry sense of humor is always way smarter than most people understand. I am sometimes uncomfortable with how easy it is for him to read me. The exchange is that I can see him as well. I feel like the English language doesn't have enough words to accurately describe what he means to me.
These are only a FEW of the FTM's that have set me on this course. I love them dearly and feel overwhelmed that I am so lucky.
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