nail polish, sweet potatoes, gladys knight and Lohan.

Happy birthday to me. I am glad to see 35 when I was so close to never even seeing 33.

I want to do some predictions about the next year.

1. I will star on the Real Housewives of Comanche County. I will be the one that carries my little dog everywhere and smells of tanning lotion

2. I will direct a film about the importance of nail polish. It will bring peace to Israel and Palestine.

3. I will bring back use of the word "Sike"

4. I will name my successor as The Most Powerful Gay in The World but I will live forever like
Queen Elizabeth II

5.I will have my own talk show. My first guest will be Lindsey Lohan. I will talk to her the way I talk to everyone (crazy) and she will admit that the reason she is a crack head is because she is truly a lesbian. I will send her to lesbian boot camp. She will then star in the Melissa Etheridge biopic.

6. I will finally potty train my dog

7. I will discover that Gladys Knight is my real mom

8. My dog will become an internet sensation a la Antoine Dotson

9. I will go on a sweet potato diet

10. I will win a lifetime supply of Diet Dr Pepper!

National Coming Out Day

The importance of National Coming Out Day is not to honor those of us who are out and proud but to honor those who do not have the ability or strength to come out.  In countries around the world homosexuality is punishable by death, in this country, we punish homosexuality or perceived homosexuality by bullying  and using “gay” as a word that is interchangeable with stupid and lame. In  the last several weeks we see an increase in the reporting  of the suicides of young people who were either gay or perceived as such.  As someone who has been fighting for my community for 17 years, I find hope in the fact that people are taking notice and my heart breaks to hear of children as young as 11 and the age of the students of Cameron Pride taking their own life because the word gay has become the exact button to push repeatedly to intimidate people and destroy lives.  To say that this is unacceptable is an understatement. To say  that this needs to end seems redundant. And yet, just yesterday we hear of a story from our own backyard of a Norman teen who killed himself because of hate mongering from a COMMUNITY. Not just individuals, but how does one person take on a community?

My coming out story is nothing special. I have an amazing family and friends who accepted me immediately.  Subsequently, I felt called to action to help those that were not as fortunate.  My biggest call to action was the death of Matthew Shepard.  Such a definitive moment for my generation of the GLBT community.  I promised myself that I would never again be fearful or be closeted again.  The war on GLBT rights is an ongoing process, some troops have made tremendous headway, others troops like the ones here in Oklahoma, have had to measure their progress in different ways.  As with any war,  there are casualties  and at some point people will not remember the names of the people who have left us.  As someone who enlisted in this war, I feel compelled to remember their names and see their faces in the students of Cameron PRIDE.  I also feel a tremendous need to make sure that for those who cannot come out, my community is safer for everyone. I am proud to have worked with the students of PRIDE and amazed at the number of straight allies they have fighting for this cause. 

I have had the opportunity to live in the San Francisco area and walk the streets of the Castro District , where one of my heroes,  Harvey Milk began his crusade for equality. It would be very easy to stay there, where no one cares about your gender orientation or your sexual orientation.  Yet I find myself always coming back to Oklahoma.  I know to some that may not make sense, but to me, when I see everyone here I know I made the right decision, when I see that what started out as a small group in the music building as grown to a campus-community effort, I cannot help but think that without EVERYONES coming out stories, we would not be here. It is everyone’s coming out stories, as  gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, ally, to create a community.  

My message to those who cannot come out or who feel hopeless is this; you have a community we are here. We welcome you. Everyone has a biological family but you may find this community as your logical family.  They are also highly dysfunctional and at moments insane but they get it. I promise you they do.

My message to those that continue with their hateful rhetoric is this; the harder you fight, we will fight harder, the more you push down, the higher we will rise above. Coming out day is not always about the closet it is about coming out fighting.

Lesson of The Day

So I just had a moment where I just realized that my life is amazing. I have friends that I known for most of my life, I have amazing young people in life who help me realize everyday that life is dramatic, funny and there is always room for a drag queen reference. I have a mother who is truly headed for sainthood.

And I am in love.


All of these things together, overwhelmed me.


Tonight, October 3, 2010, I learned what feels like to truly be grateful.