Jason Mraz and Being a Buddhist at Christmas

I don't which I am more embarrassed to admit, the fact that my life right now is a Jason Mraz song or the fact that I KNOW my life is a Jason Mraz song. The jury is out.

I won't tell you which one just yet, I do have some pride left.

As someone who is not a Christian, the "Spirit of Christmas" is something I have a hard time grasping. I look at it as mass consumerism and an excuse to eat my weight in tamales. So I have been looking around at what the spirit of Christmas means to me.

I want to make one thing clear,  not all Buddhists have the same philosophy as I do and I respect that. I think that you can be a Buddhist and appreciate the message of Jesus Christ.

First things first, I am not getting into it with Christians about the veracity of the "Christmas Story". For the sake of this blog, I will assume it is all historically correct  and tell you that I love the story. I still tear up at A Charlie Brown Christmas when Linus tells the story.

The idea that this one man was sent to change the world is why I love this story. One person. He then inspired others to change the world, and so on and so forth.

So what, as a Buddhist can I do to embody the Spirit of Christmas? I guess I set out to change the world. Or at least the life of one person. So if I change your life in the next twelve months let me know... and if I don't I assure you, my lip sync of Jason Mraz may change your opinion.

Dear Santa

Well, while everyone has already done their Christmas list, I figure that it is really never too late to ask for what I want to tell you that I accept gifts year 'round.

Since I am really excited about going to back to school, I would like school supplies.

binders
composition books (I prefer them to notebooks)
loose leaf paper
legal pads (yellow)
highlighters (pink and yellow...medium tip)
blue pens
OH! One of those highlighters with the post it notes built in...those are like porn...

XOXOXOXOXO,

Amy

Generation Narcissism

I spent the better part of my day yesterday (while home with the flu) updating facebook with the status number game. I will never do that again. Not because it wasn't fun, I assure it was. I loved thinking about what I was going to say to each individual person but when I started checking the feed every chance to see what people were saying about me, I realized that we as a whole,care more about what people are saying about them on a facebook status then we care about what else was going on in the world. It wasn't until way later in the day that I saw people posting about Elizabeth Edwards passing away from cancer. How sad.

Is social networking helping us validate who we are? When we post something we deem witty and worthy, we get upset when our closest friends don't respond. We then text them or call and say "Did you see my tweet (status)?" I myself am totally guilty of this.

The evolution of the internet is something that happens at such a rapid pace that just as soon as you get used to one thing there it is...the NEW (again) facebook profile. Most of us remember actual chat rooms, then there was a migration to livejournal(no chatting but journaling and countless opportunities to meet like minded people) (something I still miss) and then myspace (less private than livejournal but a miracle for aspiring musicians, filmakers, entertainers and aspiring viral sensations), facebook (let us all reconnect in a major way and then let us all overshare with people we hated in high school and who secretly hate the fact that you are a queer mexican buddhist) and then twitter...140 characters to make an impression.

trust me I am all for all of this, and have been a part of it in some way or another, there hasn't been a trend that I haven't been a part of and sometimes get really sentimental about...(getting a paid acct at LJ so you could have more icons...I laugh now thinking about that) but I just think we have to stop worrying about those games that require other people to validate us (click like on my status and I'll write on your wall..blah blah blah) those can be fun but I would much prefer to learn about myself from me...not from you.

So this is my apology for filling your feed yesterday with all the status updates, I am thankful for the people that participated and for the people that wrote such amazing things about me. I truly am. I just want to make sure I believe them first.

I don't want to feel obligated to comment or like your status or reply to your tweet. And I don't want you to feel obligated to comment on my stuff either. I want us to enjoy the social end of social networking.

I miss it.

Amy's Top 10 moments of 2010

As 2010 winds down, people are counting down their lists of greatest this and greatest that...here are my Top Ten best moments of 2010

10. New Years 2010-I kissed my honey and at that time I felt like nothing could stop me

9. Becoming syndicated. A writer who tells you they don't wish to be successful is lying. not that my column is HIGHLY syndicated but the fact that someone else noticed my work and wanted it was AMAZING.

8. A facebook friend I have never met, Helga, noticed from my page that I was having a rough  time and found a video on YouTube and posted it for me to watch. The song and that moment changed my life. I became aware of what people were posting and if I needed to pay it forward. And I have.

7. Healing old wounds. After years of not seeing each other, my ex and I sat down and talked and were able to forgive each other and ourselves a little.

6. Ryan's pool party-I cannot remember most of it. But the pics tell me I had a great time

5. The Birthday Party- We threw Jim and Justyn a birthday party and to have my girlfriend, sister, aunt, mom and best friends all under one roof was my dream. The food was amazing, the drinks were plentiful and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

4. Coming home and being tired from working hard. Sounds weird to most people, but for me that is a great moment

3. San Francisco Pride. How did this little girl from the South end up filming at SF Pride? How did I end up in the transmarch and the dykemarch and when I looked behind where I was filming and saw hundreds of thousands of my community and their supporters...I was humbled to be there. An experience I will NEVER forget.

2. Sticking with something even when it hurts. That was my relationship this year. We were off and on again a lot. We both made changes and have really tried to make this work. But I have to tell you when I was opening my birthday card and crying from reading it and she quietly slipped a box toward me, I had no idea what opening it was going to make me feel...and in that moment I couldn't love anyone more. No matter how rough this year has been for us, I am glad that we went through it together. I love you.

1. Admitting when you are wrong is my best moment of the year. I thought medicine would change who I am and that no one would like me and that I would lose my edge and fought the whole experience tooth and nail. While I did change a lot and feel lonelier than ever, I haven't lost my edge and my creativity is at an all time high.. Thanks medicine. You saved me.

Menstrual Marjorie waxes poetic...not

It has been a long  time  since   I   have  written   anything  that  was  just because  I  enjoy writing.  I  spend  a  good   bit  of  my energy  worrying about what to  write  and  then  nothing  gets written. Fellow writers understand.

Today,  I  am  feeling  sad and  really sentimental. I  miss  so  many  people  in  my   life.  And  they  are  people  I have access  to everyday either  in  a  very  tangible   way  or  via  some sort communication device.  What  happened to me?  I  have  always  been  a  people  person. Jerry-fucking-Maguire.  Close  the  deal.  Everything  seemed  ok. My  girlfriend  was  crazy about  me, my  mom  and  I  were  getting  along, it  seemed like I had friends  but  no  ambition and  drive  about  anything  professional or  anything  resembling  a  job  that  paid  me consistently.

Now? I  am  going  back  to school,  work  full  time  and  get  my  articles  done on  time and  see  no one.  And  miss  everyone.  And  I  feel  like  shit  for  being needy  and  saying  "HEY  I AM  STILL  HERE.  I'M  JUST BETTER NOW"


This  trade  off  sucks. I miss  laughing with  my  mom and  my  kids,  friends and  I miss  my  girlfriend.

You  wanna  know  why  one  is   the   loneliest number?  Because  once you  make yourself  number one.  There's  no  one  else  around.