Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Comin' real, it's the next episode...

I guess writing every 11 months or so (at least publicly) is not really writing more. Or often. Fail.

I have joined a blogging group and I am hoping that with the different prompts, I will be able to not only do my usual snarky writing but some with actual substance. This entry is no such blog.

Right now I am co-chairing a committee to have an alternative prom for the LGBT youth of Southwest Oklahoma. I am also speaking at Cameron University's Gay-Straight Alliance for Transgender Remembrance Day next week and I feel like my cup runneth over with rainbow.

2013 has been a seriously difficult year. I started the year with my great love Mr. Elam and circumstances and needs required us to live apart from April-present.

It has not been the easiest thing in the world to be apart from the person who is your rock. The first few months were a terrible adjustment. Financially, we have struggled worse than before and we have had to decide major things in our relationship without the tenderness and physical proximity that deepens our emotional intimacy.

Yet, we are still here. And in some ways, closer than ever. This year was wrought with speed bump after speed bump but I am now even more sure of the fact that I supposed to build my life with him.

I turned 38 and celebrated 5 years post suicide attempt. Turning 38 is not a major milestone but the 5 year anniversary was a big deal and I am glad that I am a 5 year survivor of my own mental health demons and look forward to the next 5.

Today, I have much to do and really feel exhausted from the last few days but also exhilarated about possibilities.

In the last 5 years, I did not even imagine that this life is the one I would have or even build for myself, but damn it, I am sure grateful to have things I always wanted and things I never knew I always wanted.

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