I am so excited to have my blog back. It seemed like I had a million things to write about and then as soon as I figured out how to get back into this blog, NOTHING. Writer's block. Curse you. I am sure if I was just going to post a facebook status, I would be insanely verbose.
Let's see what we can talk about...
Oh, I know!!!
So, this time of year, I am always really reflective. 4 years ago, on August 12, I tried to kill myself. In a desperate attempt to rid myself of all the emotional debris of a failed relationship, I wanted out. Every year at this time, I, of course, am incredibly grateful to be alive. I have always been fortunate enough to have a very privileged life. Not just in terms of finances and material things but in friendships, love and experiences. I recognize it as privilege and have spent a good bit of time not appreciating my life. All of that changed 4 years ago. Because frankly, pre 'deep end' Amy was a bitch. An absolute crazy bitch. Struggling with mental illness and my mental health over the course of my lifetime has probably been the biggest battle of my life. In some ways, it has been crippling and my inability to cope with it has led to catastrophic events in my life but on the other hand, it has totally set me up and prepared me for a life of total gratitude.
It is truly frustrating to think that it took me reaching the lowest point in my life to appreciate what I had the good fortune of always having.
In some ways I have lived 36.75 years but I have only been alive 4.
That's fucking powerful.
Even a crazy bitch can recognize that.
Song of the Day: 3rd Planet-Modest Mouse
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